i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
