Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize