I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
