Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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