Kiss
Puke
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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