that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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