I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we're making bets on your personal life
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
