I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
