I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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