I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
