We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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