Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
