i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
