is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
