Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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