too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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