Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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