No stitches, just platelets and will power
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
