Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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