Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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