This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize