Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I love having hate sex.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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