I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
