what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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