I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
