So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
