I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
