Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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