hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you would pick up someone in the library
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
