just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I want her autograph on my taint
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
