I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
