Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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