I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
