It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize