He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
love makes seman taste better
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
3pm strippers are depressing
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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