You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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