I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
