Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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