hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize