she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
