I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
