Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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