Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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