I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
is wine microwaveable?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
