Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
BRING THE BAGELS
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
