He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
