direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
