You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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