I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
