Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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