so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
