i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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