so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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