This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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