I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
