mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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