Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
