unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
