Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
vagina is talking i cant
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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