you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am available for nakedness
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
