Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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