C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
