we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
